Have a break, get a sex life

Sex- a form of procreation, an art, love making, something that keeps a relationship alive: whatever the reason is, it doesn’t change the fact that it is indeed important in our lives. However, people rarely talk about it openly and it is a taboo in most places. I grew up in a secluded area away from the city and I was raised with the belief of preserving chastity by eliminating anything relevant to sex. My curiosity then leads me to understand what a healthy sex life is and why it is important. When we hear the word sex, an initial image or thought that comes into the mind were couples exploring their genitalia, sex positions and it is always accompanied by acts of lasciviousness. It is undeniable that the pleasure it brings is different from all other things like having a lot of money, enjoying a good food, having an adventure, etc. It always is a mystery that no one can exactly describe the sensation, warmth and feeling attached to it which is why I do understand that most people won’t talk about it because the fact that you have nothing to share and cannot describe it makes your sex life less interesting.
I secretly watched porn when I was a teenager and like other people, I had the misconception that the simple trusting of a man’s penis would make a great sex and as much as the bigger is better. Years later and I came across the word orgasm, so I took the chance to learn about the female body parts and explore on it. (P.s. some people who are reading this knew me so I’ll cut it short). I am having orgasm when I masturbate than when I really have sex with a man irregardless of the foreplay. Horny for me is a sexual disease to mask impotence because when you learn how to gratify your sex life in a way that it does help your productivity then I guess you will also learn how to deal with your sexual cravings. If I talk to people about sex, they were like – you must’ve been sexually active and had done a lot of those with the disgust intention which I do not consider myself as such and yes I tried putting away my sex life too.
When I tried practicing abstinence, there has been something missing in me. There is always something lacking which I cannot determine that I was getting bombarded with stress and I shifted to smoking, alcoholism and gaining weight. I get more tired easily, I was chaotic and I sometimes unconsciously do things that I don’t want to do or say.
One person told me that learning kama sutra is one way of communicating with God as when you reached your climax, it opens the door to heaven. When I talk about my own experience on orgasm and how wonderful it is with no certain words to describe it, I learned that a lot of women does know what that word is yet they haven’t really experienced it. The lack of a good sexual relationship to your partner arouses questions and options for having someone else and some series of fights afterwards. The sexual aspect of a couple plays a big part during break -ups. When a person is fully aware of his/her body and can reach orgasm with himself then there is no question as not to have a healthy relationship afterwards. The excitement and exploration you do in bed allows each to understand their partners body while being aware of theirs and to say you know how to satisfy both yourself and that of your partner. It is always a give and take relationship without compromise.
In today’s situation, sex is becoming violent, it lacks value and as much as quickie is a quickie, it doesn’t really fulfill ones’ sexual life that differs from sexual desire. When it becomes as a habitual act, it decreases it’s capability to help and improve a person. A business man who takes a lot of trip on a lot of places hook up with many women to have an external outlet of stress and exhaustion would just eventually caught up a sexually transmitted disease but finds himself in front of a shrink afterwards having a session on how to manage his depression. An accountant who is very reluctant in opening up her sexual life ends up unmarried, no children and has a lot of issues dealing with people, herself and her decisions. Both of which sex are misconceived and misused. You may debate with me for this one but I think it does happen to a lot of people.
I remember once having a conversation with some of my colleagues when that sex topic arise and it was awkward as well as funny at first when we started to share our views and experiences as well. There’s the teasing and being judgmental but I left the room quiet with the people thinking afterwards. It is true that sex is widely practiced yet less talk about it, especially women. That time I was shocked to know that many don’t know how to fulfill their sex life and even with their partners, they often faked orgasms and cannot express their sexual desire. It made me realize how lucky I am to take the risks of exploring my sex life and to be able to share it with others. I am not promoting having a healthy sex life by doing it randomly or experimenting a lot as it is vitally important also to consider the other areas of sex basically including sexually transmitted diseases and etc. I hope you won’t miss out on your sex life too and here is one of my favorite Ted talk, enjoy.

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