Status : In a relationship

featimage-1013First of all, this is a personal perspective drawn from my observations. I once saw a headline on a ted talk about the fatality of loneliness and made me thinking that we as humans rarely enjoy our own company, most often we hate being alone. Henceforth, I think we do build series of relationships to compensate our loneliness and these are the three categories where we could build a relationship with, a person, a thing, and with a spiritual being that includes God.
A person, someone who has emotions, feelings and to whom you can interact or engage with is irreplaceable and often utilized by the same being to fill that space of feeling alone. At some point, it degrades the equality between people as to some are being used by others mainly for their own benefit. Usual downfall are either break-ups or multiple relationships. A popular verse of being in love with the right person on the right time and the right place is a fallacy when it’s done at your loneliest times. As a subjective experience, I was often asked why I don’t try having a relationship with anyone  and my answer would always remain- I am still lonely. Yeah , yeah, I got those twitched eyebrows staring back at me with the slightly confused look. It’s not about playing safe or being afraid on the consequences of having one as much as I don’t also believe in waiting for a perfect match but rather some like me opted to be more aware and have an intellectual response to their emotions and feelings. In contrast with the “true love” was the ” I love myself more” which is a vague statement often meant to justify being loveless. It is not wrong to adore and have a crush nor having a mutual feeling towards the other yet we ignore our need to educate our self on how to be alone and not lonely. Being married or least having someone to share your life with is not a game where everybody competes thus there is no room for envy, missing out, being a player or a collector perhaps, and the only those who seem to eagerly compensate against the death sentence of being alone are mislead to have irrational defenses to make an acceptable excuse on their beliefs and actions. People strive more to be in a relationship with another person to an extent of some building a life on the others circle by which if broken can be detrimentally incapacitating emotionally. Less people on the other hand are moving to cross their boundary past the  dependent status quo by subjecting themselves to that fear against submission and they are the ones who truly understood the line- only those who love themselves first glows the brightest and true love prevails them without seeking it.
What about the bitter, annoyed singles who are bombarded with those news feeds of their friends and mates getting laid? Ever wonder in the first place how come they like knew everybody’s affair and is the number one when it comes to being updated. Don’t wonder ’cause perhaps they really knew a lot of things and are fan of the words ‘internet’, ‘gadgets’ and and the ‘selfie’ syndrome. It is not inclusive or generalizing but considering the amount of time they spent on their lifeless things are way more than they do outdoors having conversations with quoted real people. Not to feel sober and especially killing boredom is a difficult task when you decided to stray away from the usual boyfriend/girlfriend or in a relationship with someone status. What is more accessible to be keep being entertained than attaching yourself to these things which could either benefit your development or not. This is not a bad thing but doesn’t make it less dysfunctional as the previous one if we’re talking about a scape goat on the same issue. No matter how we put it, the same causes would formidably yield the same results because the feelings and emotions doesn’t in any way differ by which both are subdue to outlive loneliness. The only difference somehow lies on that selfie syndrome but I’m not totally pertaining to narcissism ’cause it is a broad term acquainted with selfishness that is only a part of that syndrome.  Putting it simple, both cannot sleep in an empty bed so it’s either the warm hugs with sweet whispers of I love you by someone or the buzzing sound of your alarm clocks and awaiting e-mails.
The third must be the second runner up among these three but for daydreamers like me, it’s a real deal. You don’t have a someone and your something died on you, so your left with no choice but you, yourself and your “imaginary” company. It’s not that hard believing that when you look up the stars, someone somewhere or just anybody is looking up the same galaxy. This is called pretending which is sometimes more real than the other two. Being interconnected to a  spiritual being may seem like a distorted coping mechanism detaching oneself from reality and fantasizing a lot but to some extent, it does help you a lot in figuring out yourself. What more is adventurous than exploring your inner thoughts and connecting your ideas. When you kneel and pray to God, you ask a lot of things on which you try to perform at your best and keep that faith that He is watching over and assisting you, at the end He get’s the thank you and you achieve what you think is best for you.  Did He help you move the furniture’s, no right? and you did it all by yourself  but the the idea that someone unseen had been helping you allows you to become fearless and just do it. Don’t bother asking about the split personality issue ’cause that doesn’t count.
Bottom line, yes we are absolutely incapable of being alone but we can kick off the loneliness part of it. I don’t know what kind of in a relationship status you have as much as I don’t want to share mine but I hope you did really have one. It’s a bonus if you did end up being happy with your choice so hit that button and post the in a relationship status.  I don’t have something against being single but hey be proud to say yeah I’m single yet it doesn’t make me less qualified to upgrade my status.

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