A candle light

candlePerhaps it’s the heavy rainfall or the strong wind, could be both also. Either way, my candle light story wasn’t about the romantic dinners or some sort of a parable time for friends. It’s just a regular compensation to lit a candle when the power’s out specially during storms by which it’s the cheapest and most accessible to use in case of emergency besides the flash light of course. Growing up in a small village at the mountains, we do have electricity but often times we experience black outs and it may take several hours or days before it’s back on. Henceforth I remember those moments my mother would prepare early dinners before it gets totally dark and counting how many more candles are left. We’re used to squeezing ourselves at the table while mom is setting up for dinner since we only use one candle when eating. While waiting for the food, my siblings and I love to imitate  shadows of different shapes and try guessing them or play cards because it’s easier to cheat. One of the perks of having a candle light dinner is when you learn how to use your other senses in eating. You cannot base your craving on what you see rather you’ll have to like a food on how it smells and tastes. For me, I guess it’s where I learned how to eat clean, mom always says do not waste the food so my vision was trained to be keen in not trying to spill them. My favorite part is when we’re trying to scare off one another by grabbing the candle away and we’ll just start rumbling on our beds trying to knock off each other accompanied by loud giglings and chuckles. We don’t usually like story telling because we don’t know how to do one and yeah we kind of repeat the same stories over and over but during those times we actually find time to sit, await the melting of our candle and ends up with a couple more of stories. Most just about the past or some of our experiences we rarely talked openly before. It’s like a bonding moment for us.  I wasn’t also afraid of sleeping with the lights off but when storm comes, mom would always light a candle each room while keeping our doors open. For some reason, I do not feel safe rather I would stretch my neck to glance at the opposite door if their candle is still flickering. Instead of soundly sleeping, I have more thoughts and the light contributes to my insomnia that I have to wake up and check it at most times.
I always attribute dark as some sort of magical moment for me, the absence of light is not at all terrifying. The suspense and  mystery of the dark is commonly interpreted as something bad of all because of these false advertisements of an unknown creature or a horrifying event that happens at night. Yeah I do heard about third eyes and ghosts, etc of which the dark secretly contains and will soon bring fear when the light falls out of which is all nothing but false.
But let’s shift on another point of view, I think we misinterpret  a candle light as a sign of hope which is actually not . A tiny sparkling candle light is not peculiar when compared to the total absence of the dark, there is nothing special on candle lights. Their function is to offer a glim of light but they can shine brightest depends on how you maximize it’s capability. Why we fantasize and romanticize candle lights was not because of the light itself but because of the wonderful things that can happen. Try for example writing using a candle rather than a lamp. The difference lies on the struggle of finishing what you’re doing but if you try to decipher your attitude and behavior during the process, something like this might come up. Concentration and focus are more narrowed when your trying hard to write on a dim light. Your ideas are in series and not shooting up from a random angle, the circle you’re illuminating is moving inwards not outwards.
The fun of playing when you can barely see your playmate is an adventurous challenging game incomparable of when you can clearly see whom you’re playing with, the connection of your thoughts when you feel afraid and cling on each others bravery unites you even with the person you like the least, or the story telling that are commonly happening on the occasions where all of you share just one fading light, the power of trust and love embodied to overcome fear, the emotions and feelings we give and receive during the candle light makes the light special.  Why you ought on a candle light is because it melts and it dies. The moment you ignite that flame and raise up a hand to it, every drop of that melting candle must be laid back to your palms. It is your duty to keep that flame burning and make it strong, make it worth because it will eventually die but how it had been used is more important than it’s death.
So that is how my candle light went, always behind. It doesn’t shine the brightest nor melts the fastest. It just give light to my circle and why I don’t aspire for it to be in front is because it’s made to assist, to catch those which are breaking or falling backwards or melting fast. We all have our different candle light story as we also have different perception of the same element, so what about your candle light? how is it?

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