In my 23 years I had lot’s of struggles and there are even some incidences where dying is a possible option but when I asked myself why? I found resentment to do so. Happiness is what everybody wants but many fail to achieve. Happiness isn’t always about smiling and laughing, it is within all the emotions and feelings we could ever feel but we just couldn’t see it. My pursuit to happiness actually draws me far from it and what I learned is that chasing something you can’t define makes it irrational and it only widens the opening of our misery. Life isn’t perfect but the only way you can be happy is when you celebrate and focus more on yourself before others, to avoid repeating the same mistakes, to move on and have a new experience and most of all to enjoy the gift of life and make it worth.
I guided myself with this five principles and so far every time I stumble, I found another pebble of happiness and probably the least I can do to share my bucket is to voice out the little secret. It may seem inappropriate and improper in so many ways but if we integrate it into our life in a different perspective then it might actually work to lighten up our lives. Many might see it as a complete idiomatic rules breaking the standards of a proper way of living and there’s no denying it, yet it always depend on how we interpret it.
1. Say “shit” if you feel like it.
Things happen and they suck at most so it’s ok to say “shit”. We presently live in a chaotic world and and shit things happen inevitably everyday or most days.You got jammed in the traffic, arrive late for work and get fired afterwards. Then say “shit” ’cause who would feel happy about it but did you feel less shit after saying the word? Of course not, so you might end up saying it a lot. Yet if you realize that it is a part of your life to experience and feel it, that it is a normal thing and you might actually use it in a way that it favors you. So let’s go back to being fired, you went home and got drunk the whole night feeling bad. The next morning, you have a little headache and still pissed off, so you set yourself to find another job and before you knew it, you encircled a bunch of work adds and get really motivated to find one by which half of the job interviews you had were not in any form related to your profession. What’s now left on that shitty part is your eagerness, resilience, and lots of positive energy while preparing for another shit in which you’re adept and is actually trying to buy some space before the next one. With the getting fired experience, you found a coping mechanism by which you felt less shit when you don’t get hired. Feel fucked up, say a big shit and move on to another episode of feeling fucked up at the end you became a master of screwing ups but no matter how hard life’s becoming, no matter how many more adversities that might come, you will soon feel lighter, you can easily move on , you’re becoming more mature and responsible. Hence forth, say the word ’cause it’s fine and move on.
2. Be lazy
Seriously, you don’t have to overwork yourself. For what?, to have bigger houses, lots of cars, more money to count, more places to go, more kids to feed and so on ans forth. Being lazy isn’t really a bad thing, your lazy to clean then have a smaller house, your lazy to cook then you don’t have a problem with weight gain as it is associated with less eating. Have a job that can sustain your needs and don’t do overtimes or have a second job ’cause they’re really not necessary. Being lazy is learning the basics of survival. You eat to satisfy your hunger not your palate or your cravings. You buy clothes to warm you and you buy your gadgets according to their purpose so you might end up with only one mobile phone for business, family and friends. You deduce each time you feel lazy, you feel lesser stress and anxiety, you have more time in talking with other people and building interpersonal relationships, you have more time to focus on what makes you happy, you will learn the art of simplicity and actually put more values to the things which are essentially part of your life. Be lax, carefree, work only on the things that are worthy for you, lighten up, be lazy. Remember we cannot re-live yesterday but we can choose our actions tomorrow so either we can fill our past with regrets, unnecessary burdens, or we could just minimize too mush work to allow for more important things to happen.
You only want to cross to the other side of the road so why bother walking down the pedestrian or the so called proper places to cross. The important thing is you arrive safely at that place you want to be and to that you must acquire these three skills- the stop, look and listen. We’re already bombarded with lot’s of rules and the enormous lists of what to do and not to do . It’s gripping off your freedom and your ability to make decisions are always based on the right or wrong. Thus, risks are of no option and we settle on abiding everything that makes us safe. It doesn’t really give us the opportunity to make mistakes, accept and learn from it, the downfall is we were born a novice and will die a novice. So dare to take the challenge, showcase your authenticity and trust in your intuitions. Don’t let yourself be encapsulated on a repetitive pattern of doing things based on a guideline because they do make you safe and dumb as well. Jaywalk to nurture your sense of responsibility, accountability, and being a keen observer.
This is the best and most commonly done by all people and it is absolutely fine to do so. You lied to your parents about school, you lied to your friends about your job, you lied to your lover on who you are, etc. When we lie, it is approximately proportionate to cheating and we feel remorseful afterwards. But the thought of coming up excuses to cover up our mistakes, to make ourselves or someone better, to have something we really want, and piles of other reasons kept us from doing so. It’s not all negative and as much as we value trust, it is also necessary to have mistrust. It’s always not about a perfect someone when the truth is involved because as much as lies hurts, the truth is twice excruciating sometimes. For example, you failed on most of your major subjects and you told your mom, next thing you knew she was shouting the words idiot, lazy, dumb, etc, etc. But when you said you were able to pass them all, they might say, ok just do it better next time. Within these two situations, it is illustrated how painful and devastating the response is towards your truth as compared to how encouraging they were when you lied. Lying is to feel a momentary relief and for some, it is a way of having less burden and pain but we mustn’t forget that we will always pay the price of guilt.
5. Be equipped on sex, take time to learn Kamasutra.
As far as Kama Sutra is involved and is defined as the enjoyment of appropriate objects by the five senses of which there is a conscious pleasure that arises from the contact. Kama sutra is the art of living for the civilized and refined citizen complementing in the sphere of love, eroticism and pleasure of life. Moreover, as we move into another century, porn is being associated on a lot more things besides obscene and nonintellectual sex. Now it’s also utilized to categorize something that is pleasurable such as food, so there’s the food porn. Moreover, there are a lot of taboo’s when it comes to sex and sadly we’re still actually barbaric when it comes to that. Seriously, how many times had you experienced the pleasure of orgasm or to some extent, only a few can really describe it because it’s either we’re not satisfied or we don’t know how to have it. A healthy sex life adds points to your life but doesn’t necessarily mean that you go out and have it with whoever is available or find a partner to experiment with all the time. Just imagine it as a baccalaureate degree by which we need to learn it’s fundamentals and when time comes that we applied it and feel satisfied then it becomes an important event worth improving at. If you’re able to achieve gratification when it comes to pleasure, it could lead to a repetitive pattern of resonating the same feeling to other aspects of your life. These may involve sexual desires, food and fashion relationships, new formulas in your romantic relationship, and perhaps generating new ideas in improving your career or your life. All by which is directed to the ego’s attainment of pleasure principle but of course guided by the ego and the superego.
In whatever situation were in, we earned few pounds, diet or get skinny, have a big house or be homeless, eat in a fancy restaurant or just around the corner, have a nice car or can’t even afford a fare and decided to walk, have a nice branded clothes or just wore one from someone else’s garage- life is just as the same for everybody. We all have hardships, struggles, lots of problems and stress but not all are happy and living a worthy life.