I am Single.

Screen-shot-2012-07-06-at-2.41.50-PMBeing on my twenties, I should really have a love life I told myself. But then when I asked myself why, an irrational answer came up and it’s actually due to a lot of stereotypes. I’d never went into a romantic relationship ever since my childhood but it doesn’t mean I never admired anyone and in fact I came into a point where I thought I found my true love. We’re both single and why I didn’t bother to engage in such was maybe because of the fear I had. Not the fear of rejection though, but because I am certain of my capabilities and shortcomings that I was really afraid of myself and what I cannot control may end up hurting that person. Maybe other people questions my principles but I don’t see a rush towards it and I don’t even see it as a competition or something that everyone needs at this point in time. When I came across the line “life begins at forty”, I realized the importance of being single and why I always choose to be one or why I am one of those who are classified as a sorrowful dwelling in loneliness and unhappiness brought about by lack of a romantic relationship. On the other side, those perceptions and general accusations weren’t exactly true.
There is no such thing as a perfect couple of course, it only relies on compromising, supporting and doing anything to keep a relationship alive. At most times, the thought of being with someone is undeniably good. The fantasy of a romantic dinner, or someone to say good morning and goodnight, a person to be with on valentines day, someone who remembers your birthday and be the first to greet you in a sweet way, and a lot more is certainly what everybody desires. I acknowledge that I do envy those couples when one holds the umbrella for the other, or how much they held each others hand as they cross the street, their affection publicly displayed without the intention of doing so. How delightful it is when you think of the things that can happen and will be done when your with someone, which are the same things you can’t have when you’re single like me.
Every year, I spend my valentines day like my regular days. I received birthday greetings from friends and family. I don’t get to say I love you to a person I adore and won’t receive same. I shop alone or with friends, go to the park alone or with friends and family. In short either I do things alone, most of the time, or with friends and families. However, throughout this time of setting aside a romantic relationship, I found more time to actually spend with myself. I do a lot of experiments which are sometimes fun and some are actually boring. I took the luxury of holding my own umbrella while walking at the park and had a lot of time to bargain for the things I want. I learned to comfort myself and rely on my intuitions. The best part I guess was being selfish in both ways, the good and bad. I have crush on someone, I feel infatuated or in love but when I realized that I don’t want them anymore or because I saw another crush or love that I can just dump them without actually dumping them for in the first place I did not establish any form of relationship to another person. It would be nice to put in reality the fantasies and dreams we have with Mr or Miss Right only if the feeling or actions are genuine and we expect less on it’s outcome ’cause often, we might not really feel romanticized in romantic dinners.
As much as it is exciting to share your life with someone, it is also an adventure to be single. In both cases whether your single or not, you still go discover new restaurants, or places or things and you still get the same excitement, fun and adventure you’re seeking for. The problem now comes when we imagine too much and compare ourselves to the extent of discontentment being single. We have a lot of these table for two ideas, sharing wine glasses, a good conversation or so we thought and some other stuff that we haven’t actually tried doing alone in a point where we try to enjoy it.It simply denotes that these notions of being single as something worrisome, loveless, and especially unhappy relies on how we define having a romantic relationship as something necessary to complete ourselves by whatever it means when having a partner is actually directed towards procreation and is not intended to fill the gap or the missing piece of someone else’s life. As a rule of authenticity is observed, I do believe that people have their own rights on being happy and complete irregardless of their status. Only when we learn the value of being single that can actually draw our best cards when it comes to having a good relationship because we are all unique people and we don’t rely on compromise or on filling the empty spaces or standing behind someone else’s shortcomings ready to give a lift, instead, we challenge the other person, we learn and seek consult from them, we argue a lot and criticize them, we stand on our own principles whether they oppose the other. Yet at the end of the day as both of you lay down on bed, you won’t see a stranger or feel a threat towards your partner because you understood the he/she is as different as you are to him/her and these are things that allows each of you to grow into a better person by walking towards the same path on a different railroad. It’s like saying you both have the same destination where both of you could walk parallel to each other on your own way.
Henceforth, if you asked me, I’m still single and perhaps will be for a long time. It might be partly my decision or just because no one as authentic as I am is drawn to me. Still, if you’re still single by choice or not then it shouldn’t be a reason to rush up lining in front of Valentino seeking something invisibly offered by the doctrines of love. Perhaps, what we need is to put more effort being single than searching more relationships which are sometimes just accumulated for invalid different reasons when we should have had started a relationship with a single purpose of procreation that is guided by sincere love of allowing each other to mature on their own accord.

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